(800) 364-6933 Birth mother hotline
Closed Adoption: Advantages
A closed adoption is
just that, closed. You will not have the opportunity to choose
the parents, you will know very little about them, and they in turn
will know very little about you. After the adoption, contact will
be minimal, possibly through another person, and there will be a
lot of unanswered questions on both sides. Some young women do choose
closed adoption, mostly as a means to pretend the whole experience
never happened. Many women try to pretend nothing has happened, but
they will need to talk about this painful experience. If they decline
counseling and do not have any one close to them that knows what
they have done, then they have closed the door to healing.
Closed Adoption: Advantages for Birth Parents
The closed adoption experience is different for each person; however
here is a list of potential advantages that you might encounter with
a closed adoption:
- Sense of closure-Some birth mothers
and birth families report that having a closed adoption provides
a sense of closure and enables them to move on with life.
a child for adoption is an extremely sensitive and vulnerable
choice. Having a closed adoption creates an opportunity for a stronger
sense of privacy.
- Reduced fear-Some birth mothers are concerned
about explaining their choice and a closed adoption serves as
a way to prevent them from a confrontation with a child placed
Closed Adoption: Disadvantages
A closed adoption
refers to an adoption process where there is no interaction between
the birth mother and the prospective adoptive families. There is
no identifying information provided to either the birth families
or the adoptive families. Non-identifying information such as physical
characteristics and medical history may be provided to both parties.
When considering a closed adoption, there are a number of disadvantages
that need to be thought through carefully for all parties involved.
Adoption: Disadvantages for Birth Parents
The closed adoption experience
is different for each person; however, here is a list of potential
disadvantages that you may encounter with a closed adoption:
- Dealing with Grief-Some birth mothers
and birth families report that having a closed adoption makes
the grieving process more difficult because there is a lack of
information on the child’s
- Dealing with Denial-Placing a child through
a closed adoption may lead you to deny that the child was born
and placed for adoption.
- Dealing with Guilt-Since there is no opportunity
to communicate with the child about why you placed him or her
for adoption, it may be easier for feelings of guilt to develop.
with Abandonment-Some birth mothers report that they feel like
they are abandoning their baby. Without the ability to communicate
with the child, you may be more vulnerable to experience this
type of emotion.
with lack of information-The
absence of information about the child’s well-being combined
with denial or guilt may make you more susceptible to depression.