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Open Adoption Advantages

Open adoption occurs when the potential birth mother and prospective adoptive parents have personal interaction with one another. Through this type of adoption, the identities of all parties are shared with each other. There are open adoptions, and the degree of openness varies considerably. There are several potential advantages to an open adoption for the birth parents, the adoptive parents and the adopted child. The single most important thing for you to remember is that this is your child and your decision and that you are in control of the outcome.

Open Adoption: Advantages for the Birth Family

The majority of adoptions today are open. This means you will meet the adoptive couples you are interested in considering as parents. You will be able to ask them questions, and they will ask questions of you. They can be as involved as you want them to be:

• Sense of Control-Having the ability to review, interview and select the parents to place your baby with, usually provides birth mother with a sense of empowerment and control.
• Reduced uncertainties-Most birth mothers experience a sense of comfort knowing the child’s well-being through interactions and updates with the adoptive family.
• Improved mourning-Being able to visit and talk with the adoptive family and the adopted child often provides an increased ability to deal with the grief and loss.
• Reduced fear-When there is on-going communication with the adoptive family before the birth and following the adoption, it usually helps you reduce the fears you might have on what is going to happen to the child.
• Relationship with the child-With an open adoption, there is the potential to develop a healthy relationship with the child as he or she grows.
• Relationship with the adoptive family-There is an opportunity for you to develop a relationship with the adoptive family. For some birth families, the adoptive family becomes like part of their own extended family.
• Reduced guilt-With an on-going relationship and communication about the well-being of the child, you may experience less guilt about making a decision about placing for adoption.

Open Adoption: Advantages for Adoptive Family

The open adoption experience is different for every family; however, here is a list of potential advantages that you might encounter with an open adoption:

• Reduced fear-When there is on-going communication with the birth mother or birth families before the birth and following the adoption, it usually helps to reduce the fears one might have about the birth mother’s intentions because her desires are known.
• Medically informed-A medical history is provided prior to the adoption; however with an open adoption there is an ability to seek additional medical information as things may change as the child develops.
• Relationship with the birth families-There is an opportunity to develop a relationship with the birth mother or birth families. For some adoptive families, the birth mother or birth families become like part of their own extended family.
• Affirmation-As an adoptive parent, you may experience a sense of empowerment or encouragement knowing that you were chosen as the adoptive family.
• Understanding and confidence-An open adoption provides you with a greater understanding of your child’s history making it easier to answer the infamous questions about “who am I” and “where did I come from?”

Open Adoption: Advantages for the Adopted Child

The open adoption experience is different for every child; however here is a list of potential advantages that an adopted child might encounter with an open adoption:

• Identity and self-confidence-Open adoption provides adopted children with direct access to birth families for information about family history and family trees. This often makes it easier to answer the infamous questions about “who am I” and “where did I come from?”
• Protection against a sense of abandonment-Having the opportunity to communicate with the birth families and receive the reasons behind the adoption can help prevent the child from experiencing a sense of abandonment.
• Absence of the need to search-The potential need to search to find the birth families is removed and is not necessary.
• Medically informed-A medical history is provided prior to the adoption; however with an open adoption there is an ability to seek additional medical information that may become necessary with the onset of medical symptoms in adulthood or questions about genetics with future family planning.
• Relationship with the birth families-There is an opportunity for the adopted child to develop a relationship with the birth mother or birth families. For some adopted children, the birth mother or birth families become like part of their own extended family.
• Support Network-The birth mother and birth families have a genuine concern for the well-being of the child which often makes them advocates for the child and serves as additional support to the child.

The open adoption experience is different for each adoption. The most important thing for all parties involved in the adoption process is communication. The more communication about wishes, desires, expectations, and the more comfortable each party will be in the adoption process.

Open Adoption: Disadvantages

Open adoption occurs when the potential birth mother and prospective adoptive families have personal interaction with one another. Through this type of adoption, the identities of all parties are shared with each other. However, the interaction may be different for each family and may include letters, e-mails, telephone calls or visits. When considering open adoption, there are several potential disadvantages that should be considered for the birth parents, the adoptive parents and the adopted child.

Open Adoption: Disadvantages for Birth Parents

The open adoption experience is different for each personal and we are prepared to help each personal work through the following issues. Here is a list of potential disadvantages that you might encounter with an open adoption:

• Responsible for boundaries-Although necessary for all parties, the birth mother and birth families are responsible for establishing the relationship limits and boundaries.
• Abuse of Trust-The relationship with the adoptive family opens the door for trust to be abused. The adoptive family may use the trust you place in them to manipulate the situation.
• Potential disappointment-With the opportunity to interact and observe the adoptive family as the child develops; there is the potential for disappointment when the adoptive family does not meet all expectations or needs.
• Feelings of obligation-As the birth mother, you may feel a sense of obligation to place the child for adoption because of the financial and emotional investment made by the adoptive family.
  

Open Adoption: Disadvantages for the Adoptive Family

The open adoption experience is different for every family; however, here is a list of potential disadvantages that you might encounter with an open adoption:

• Responsible for boundaries-Although necessary for all parties, the adoptive family is fully responsible for establishing the relationship limits and boundaries.
• Additional pressure-The adoptive family may be interested in an open adoption. The birth mother or birth family may want a greater level of openness. You may feel pressure to accept certain expectations of openness from the birth family or fear not getting the child.
• Unstable relationships-The adoptive family may discover that their relationship with the birth family results in a relationship with an unhealthy or emotionally disturbed birth family member.
• Future disappointments-There have been many open adoption agreements and then sometime in the future the birth family decides they want no further contact with you or the adopted child.

Open Adoption: Disadvantages for the Adopted Child.

The open adoption experience is different for every child; however, here is a list of potential disadvantages that an adopted child might encounter with an open adoption:

• Reduced ability to assimilate into a family-Interaction with the birth family may present barriers for the child to fully assimilate into the adoptive family.
• Sense of rejection-If the contact stops between the birth family and the adoptive family, the adopted child may develop a sense of rejection.
• Peer communications-With continual interaction with the birth families, the adopted child may struggle with ways to communicate the various relationships to their peers.
• Power struggles-The adopted child may use the adoptive family and the birth family as pawns playing one against the other.
• Identity confusion-There is a chance that a teenage child may struggle more with identity because of the extent of family history and genealogy information. There may be sensory overload leading the child to wonder who they really are.